For the past 4 years I’ve spent almost every Sunday waitressing in a basement performance space on Cornelia Street.
Cornelia Street Cafe opened in 1977 and is closing January 2nd so I thought I’d share some things from my Sundays there.
March 5, 2017
I spilled an entire bottle of pinot noir on someone.
I spilled it on an older man. His wife told me I ruined her husband’s shirt and both of their nights. She walked upstairs and the man stayed behind for a minute to tell me his wife got him that shirt but he never liked it anyway.
Has a more gracious act of forgiveness ever been shown?
December 6 2015
When the phone rang this bartender JD would answer and say, “Cabaret, where all your dreams come true.”
I always thought it was funny when he did that but this night it was especially clear no ones dreams were coming true. There was a magic show happening and two people came to see it.
April 3 2016
This woman introduced her band.
She said, “This is Bill on drums. He’s so good I had no choice but to marry him.”
April 3 2016
I thought a customer told me I had an autistic looking face.
I said, “Did you just say I have an autistic looking face?”
She said, “No I said artistic.”
Anyway I think she just meant I have a big nose.
April 30 2017
A customer walked in and said, “I hate this place.”
He stayed for the show.
September 25 2016
This bartender Mike told me about a conversation he had with his therapist.
His therapist told him, “Your dreams play like a tragic comedy of a man trying to get from point A to point B.”
March 5 2017
The woman who wrote the song ‘From A Distance’ performed that song.
Afterwards I said to her, “That was cool,” and she said, “You’re cool,” and I felt cool.
May 13 2015
Someone told me I’m the worst waitress they ever had.
November 11, 2018
I was thinking about my dad.
I was wondering if he was okay. I know it doesn’t make sense to worry if a dead person is okay but that’s what I was doing.
I was working with this bartender Paul and we were trying to figure out how these three middle-aged men knew each other. They just seemed like such an unlikely friend group.
So on their way out I asked them. They told me they had been freshman year roommates at the University of Michigan.
My dad went there too and I like to think that was his way of saying hi to me.
May 13 2018
I went upstairs to get silverware and this waiter Naomi told me she’s in love with her body. I’d never heard anyone say that about herself. I thought that was so cool.
May 13 2015
A musician told me about his train ride over.
The girl sitting next to him said, “You look like a music teacher.”
He told her he was.
Then she said “You look like a tired music teacher.”
It made him laugh.
May 28 2015
I was working with this bartender Steve and told him I had a date after work.
He got the band to start their second set early so I could make it.
July 2 2015
I was getting silverware from upstairs and saw this new waiter looking at me suspiciously.
He walked over to Glenn who was hosting and whispered something.
Glenn started laughing and came over to me. He told me the waiter didn’t know I worked here and thought I came in off the street to steal silverware.
One night one of the hosts of the show described Cornelia as a magic street.
I probably wouldn’t describe the place so nostalgically.
Everyone organizing the show that night seemed to be named Liz and they were all in the way.
There was magic at Cornelia but to remember it as a quaint bohemian artists hangout doesn’t show the full picture.
It was also a business and the food wasn’t always good and the sound board wasn’t always working and I wasn’t always a very good waitress and the owner wasn’t always (ever?) sober.
But still, I’m glad I was there.